Three serious jokes

LETTERS FROM THE AGNO

March L. Fianza

 A song by the vocal group Bee Gees goes: “I started a joke… but I didn’t see that the joke was on me…”

Filipinos and Ibaloys undeniably have natural ways to deviate from serious matters and go on with their daily lives. Some jokes propped up upon feeling the daily heat that has not improved in the past few days. A joker cousin of mine Nelson from Tadiangan, Asin Road said, even with an actually cold place like Baguio and suburbs, the weather becomes very, very warm from 9AM to the time the cold winds blow at around 4PM but not because of the changing climate or the global warming spectacle.

This cheerful joker said, it used to be cold in the 60s even in places where there were no trees so that we cannot blame the weather for having lesser trees today. He reasoned out that even in places where there is thick forest growth, the weather is also very warm.

I know he was joking, so with eagerness to provoke an answer, I asked why. His answer: The operator in charge of the two giant “electric fans” on top of Mount Santo Tomas forgot to switch on the power. Then he added, “Or maybe they are saving on power because the Ambuclao, Binga and San Roque dams are at a critical level.”

As kids who grew up in Baguio and Benguet, when asked by a city visitor what the two big things are atop Mount Santo Tomas, we always responded that they are “electric fans” that keep Baguio cold although we actually did not know what they were when we were kids. But they do look like big “electric fans” when viewed from below.

***

I just learned from a friend who texted me that finally foreign officials approached Malacanang authorities, particularly the fisheries and aquatic department to seek their help with regards the retrieval of objects that were lost in deep seas. Aside from lost ships and airplanes, important objects could possibly be lying on the ocean floor in depths that cannot be reached by the best equipment in the world.

I was sure my lawyer-friend’s text message is not true but he said the foreign navy and maritime officials were asking if Malacanang can allow our pearl divers who can stay under the surface of the Philippine Deep in Mindanao for as long as 20 minutes to be hired for retrieval operations.

My joker friend confirmed that instead of the Mindanao divers who have long expanded their livelihood to selling cell phone cases and second hand cell phones in Baguio because there were no more pearls to gather from the deep, one government boss suggested that they would rather ask the assistance of Dyesebel and the Dyesebels before her. These are Edna Luna, Vilma Santos, Alma Moreno, Alice Dixson, Charlene Gonzales, Marian Rivera, and lately, Anne Curtis.

I said, that’s fine but suggested that they should first get the permission of Fredo, the kind, handsome young man and husband of Dyesebel in the person of Gerald Anderson. Pinoy talaga.

***

Now that the installation of a historical marker at the antiquated Casa Vallejo has been approved by the National Historical Commission of the Philippines (NHCP), some quarters say that it automatically follows that the building is considered an important cultural property and therefore, should not be demolished.

I agree a hundred per cent. But whose culture are we referring to? The Americans who built the building, we the Baguio born residents and migrants who are presently subsisting in a mixed culture, or the Ibalois who were in the area long before the buildings squatted on their lands? Many others are caught in between, not only Ibaloy land claimants because while they honor ancestral lands because these were the lands of their forefathers, they also believe that historical sites like the Casa Vallejo should be maintained.

And why Casa Vallejo alone? What about the old Post Office, the Baden Powell building, the buildings at Cabinet Hill and many more? These structures were built because the Americans who were the self-proclaimed authorities then allowed construction without the benefit of land titles. The buildings were apparently built by so-called authorities who took advantage of the meekness of the Ibaloys who preferred to move away from the center to maintain peace of mind.

By the way, there is a marker in front of the Baden Powell driveway that says the site was where the first session of the Philippine Commission was held. The cold and lonely marker is there but city hall allowed a fastfood restaurant to build beside it. Today, government officials and people who claim they are protecting historical sites just pass by and do nothing.  

The million-peso question now is: Can private individuals or corporations be permitted to use historical buildings for profit? If yes, then other historical properties that have to be preserved should also be allowed to be occupied by private persons. Apart from a veiled “desire” to protect historical sites, I believe there are other personal interests by very influential private personalities. Who’s joking now?