The media monster

TRUTH FOR TODAY  

Jun Malazo

Technology is a wonderful thing.  The advancement of technology today allows us to accomplish things more quickly and more easily than ever before.  Technology also makes the world a great deal smaller.  We can communicate at lightning speeds.  We can view world events live before our very eyes thanks to high-speed networks.  My grandparents never would have imagined it would be possible to “see” the person you are talking to on the other side of the world.  Commerce and banking has become more convenient for consumers as most transactions can be done with our mobile devices.  I could go on and on about how today’s technology is changing our lives for the better. 

But sadly, the story does not end here.  Technology has its downside.  Improper use of technology has devastating results.  Technology, if misused, can infringe upon our privacy.  We hear so many times of people falling victim to identity theft.  This has left people with devastating personal consequences.  There are many more examples of cybercrime that could be addressed; however, for the purpose of the topic, I specifically want to address the effects of media technologies such as social media, gaming, on-demand movies, and video sharing platforms on the most vulnerable—our children. 

Imagine a picture-perfect dinner date setting.  Once in a while my wife and I will take a break from the busyness of ministry and home-life by going on a date without the kids.  We use this time to discuss issues of life and home.  I remember one time while on one of our dinner dates an event took place that left  a permanent mark in my memory.  We were already seated and the waiter had already taken our orders when a family entered the restaurant.  They were seated adjacent to our table.   I thought to myself, “It is so refreshing to see a family taking the time to be together for a special dinner.”

But to my surprise and awe, just as soon as they took their seats, each and every member of that family took out their individual mobile devices—even the two year old had his own iPad encased in a special protective rubber exterior!  I am not exactly sure what they were doing with each of their mobile devices.  I just know whatever they were doing, it kept them captivated and away from the rest of the world as their eyes were transfixed on the displays of their digital devices.  I noticed that there was no communication between the members of the family.  No eye contact—nothing!   Once in awhile when the two year old’s iPad would get stuck on a video then mom would pay attention and help until the video started playing again.

What is wrong with this picture?  Sadly, this scenario is not uncommon.  Technology has robbed us of our quality time with family.  Technology has also become children’s electronic “babysitter”.   These “babysitters” have become a poor replacement for what parents need to give to their children—quality time and loving care.  Instead of properly mentoring and disciplining children, parents nowadays just put children in front of a mobile device.  With this, parents hope that their children will be distracted enough not to misbehave or cause any interruptions.  This has serious implications for the integrity and unity of families. 

With the help of the internet you can find the latest statistics of media-technology usage.  The results are astounding, especially among the younger generation.  According to an independent research company in 2017, the Philippines has the highest number of users of media in Southeast Asia with an average of 4 hours and 17 minutes per day.  The unbridled use of technology has, to a large extent, actually been more harmful to children than helpful.Even qualified experts warn us of the danger of the unbridled use of media and technology.  Notice the following excerpt from a book entitled, Making Home Work by Dr. Paul Chappell found on page 159;

“Steve Jobs—founder of Apple and creator of the iPhone and iPad—limited how much technology his children used at home.  A New York Times article reported that as the original iPad was hitting the market, Job’s kids hasn’t used it. Rather, as Jobs’ biographer explained, “Every evening Steve made a point of having dinner at the big long table in their kitchen, discussing books and history and a variety of things,” he said.  “No one ever pulled out an iPad or computer.  These kids did not seem addicted at all to devices.”

“Chris Anderson…has instituted time limits and parental controls on every device in his home.  “My kids accuse me and my wife of being fascists and overly concerned about tech, and they said that none of their friends have the same rules,” he said of his five children, 6 to 17.  “That’s because we have seen the dangers of technology firsthand.  I’ve seen it myself, I don’t want to see that happen to my kids.”

“The dangers he is referring to include exposure to harmful content like pornography, bullying from other kids, and perhaps worse of all becoming addicted to their devices, just like their parents.”

The unbridled use of media technology is not only dangerous mentally and spiritually, it can also compromise the physical safety of our children.  Children are vulnerable, making them easy targets to online predators.  This was sadly clearly proven in the early months of 2019 when a 16-year-old girl in Cebu was found brutally murdered in an open field.  Her killer was a middle-aged man who used a Facebook account containing falsified information as he posed as a teenaged boy.  After a few months of online exchanges, he lured her to meet together.  The result of the meeting eventually led to the gruesome murder of an innocent young lady, shocking the entire nation.  This is obviously a rare case.  But as a parent, the safety of my children is not something that I am willing to compromise.

How do we as parents protect our children from developing such harmful habits?  You see, not all of technology usage is harmful, at least when under control.  Children are growing up with technology, and for us to pretend that its not there is equally as foolish.  They do need to know some functional aspects of technology, but they must learn how to have self-control and moderation.  This is only possible if we, as parents, will take an active role in their lives.  We must set the boundaries for them.  I am keenly aware that there are many parents who boast of the fact that their children as young as 5 years old are “independent”.  Since they are “independent” the parents leave them to wander all over town to places like the internet cafes and to the houses of their friends with unrestricted access to the internet and without any adult supervision.  Notice the following verse:

"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."  (Proverbs 29:15)

As a parent, you do not need to know how to use all the media technology available today or be aware of the latest trend in technology in order to protect your children.  You must simply be engaged with your children and know what they are involved in.  My wife and I have counseled parents who were completely shocked when they found out what their children were doing on the internet.  Parents need God’s grace for strength and the principles found in the Bible for direction.  With these, we can guide and direct our children in the way that will be safe for them.  Notice what the Bible promises to parents;

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  (Proverbs 22:6)

God’s Word, the Bible, is powerful.  It contains the principles we need to live by.  The Bible is timeless and has the answers even for 21st-century issues.  The Bible tells us that we need to be discerning in all areas of life, which includes media technology.  Notice the Apostle Paul’s admonishment to Titus:

"Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly,    righteously, and godly, in    this present world;"  (Titus 2:12)

This verse sets important guidelines for us as parents.  As you observe your children’s media usage, you must find out if it promotes Godliness and repudiates worldly philosophies.  If it does not, there are biblical guidelines to follow.  Knowing that there is a problem is not enough.  We must take action. 

The first principle we must apply is to know and control our own media usage.  Just as in the scenario I described earlier, many times children are addicted to media technology because that is what they see from their parents.  Do you as a parent practice moderation and self-control?  There are parents that are equally as addicted as their children.  If you, as a parent, cannot control your own usage it will be hard for you to insist that your children control their usage.  My challenge to you as parents is to take charge first of your own life.  The Bible commands us to walk circumspectly.  The word circumspect, found in Ephesians 5:15, is a combination of two words that mean circle and vision.  It literally means looking on all sides.  In other words, to be circumspect means to be alert to danger and careful in our spiritual walk.  We need to encourage our children to walk circumspectly, but it starts in our own lives first.

Next, we as parents must take time to dialogue with our children about the dangers that lurk in the media-technology world.  Our most basic job as parents is the protection of our children.  They have been given to us by God to raise in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Notice this key verse:

"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” (Psalms 127:3)

Communication is key to any successful relationship.  Parents often encounter problems because they fail to communicate.  Your children may be too young to have the discernment to know what is good or bad.  Children are naturally very curious and are very trusting.  Therefore, we must be proactive and take charge of our children.  Far too often, we as parents do more damage control than necessary.  If we just take the time to communicate with our children, we can prevent many problems.  Communication takes time and effort and we must be willing to invest this in our children.

Lastly, another important principle is to set some boundaries for our children.  Overuse of media technology often happens because there are no set rules or boundaries in place.  Children must know the consequences of overstepping their boundaries.  I am aware that if parents start confiscating devices from their children that they will be labelled as “public enemy number 1.”    When the rules are set, parents must be firm and consistent.  Love is gentle but sometimes it’s tough.  We must be willing to give tough love to our children. 

In closing, I want to encourage you, as a parent, to put your family first.  Do not let media technology steal precious time and memories you could be making with your children.  Do not let it steal your children’s precious innocence.  We need God’s grace to take charge with a passion to nurture and protect our children. --  (Jun Malazo  is a Pastor of  Central Sagada Baptist Church . His email: armalazo@gmail.com)