Once the family wanes

BEHIND THE SCENES
Alfred P. Dizon
(Fr. Marcs Castaneda writes this week’s column)

Last week, I had a very significant trip to Reggio Emelia, Northern part of Italy and a five hour trip by train. It is a very clean city with seemingly systematic way of governance compared to Rome. The following day, I celebrated the Holy Mass to a group of Filipinos in Parma, Italy, an hour drive from Reggio Emelia.

Ms Gloria Apaling and her sister Janet organized the Sunday’s celebration. It was a beautiful experience of faith and life with Filipinos belonging from various ethnicity as well religious affiliations. We gathered first to celebrate the Mass before the program to which I was inspired to talk about the temptations of the family and the temptations of working abroad. I actually summarized the themes of the two Sundays of Lent that of the temptations of Jesus and transfiguration. I share it also with you especially those whose families, brother or sister are working abroad.

Juan de la Cruz is a 55 year old married to Maria with two children already finishing in college. (Not their real names) His love for his family compelled him to work in Italy. He said, “I came to look for work and money but along the way I lost my family.” His search for greener pastures for his family led to the breakdown of his more precious wealth, his family. He has his daughter while the son is clinging to the mother.

They are living a separated life to mean, there is no possibility of reconciliation since each spouse has their new partners. It is a sad story to tell but it happened and it is not an isolated case among OFWs today.

The influx of OFW to the “first world countries” is accelerating so fast maybe due to the “gold mine” that was unearthed. However, this has a serious and urgent message that the Filipino family and the Filipino church should be vigilant of.

According to one of my researches, Filipinos are in search for better living conditions. Some are tired of the political situation and the alarming effects of graft and corruption. So they flee from these distressing and oppressing situations. The migratory flow however brings new and grim social problems. This is a reality that needs a serious discernment. This is a critical Filipino phenomenon that must be dealt urgent.

Accordingly, there are some eight million Filipinos, out of a population of 86 million, who left the country to seek work abroad. They are attracted by jobs with salaries that far exceed those of jobs available in the Philippines. However, the exodus of workers from the country includes an increasing number of skilled workers taking on unskilled work overseas, resulting in serious brain drain particularly in the health and education sectors. And a more serious one, the waning of Filipino family values leading to the breakdown of Filipino families.

It is alluring to work more for more profit but it can be very perilous too. Due to our love to our families we gamble and risk our life to work abroad. Bishop Francisco Claver SJ explained in his latest book, the prime reason OFW is clear, “to earn for the family; the need to have the means to meet the necessities life, the welfare and education of children especially.

But all too often the result is just the opposite: marriages fail in the long separation of husband and wife, children are not given due parental care because of the absence of either parent, or are spoiled when parents try to make up their absence by an excess of gifts, leading them to be materialistic and selfish. Let this be a learning for all of us.

I met Filipino families suffering from the breakdown. I console them at the same time advising them not to add more insult to the wounded. We must encourage them to learn to work for forgiveness and possible reconciliation. Family members must strengthen the communications in order to get rid of the estrangement.

And for us not to condemn them but to all the more embrace and lead them to light. It will be a social tragedy to see families gaining economically but losing their spiritual life and worse, losing their family. The lesson is clear, work and money should be treated with moderation in order to have time for the family. Once the family is broken money and wealth cannot restore it.

From this picture of a weakening Filipino family from its Christian traditions and values, it is consequent to conclude that the family will lose its strength for social transformations and the work for the common good. Pope John Paul II keeps the conviction and exhorts us that the family is the seedbed of life, of faith and vocation.

Henceforth the family must be taken cared. The family must be loved by all means because Once the Family Wanes, the society falls. I go back with the formula that I always quote, “A family that prays together stays together.” (For comments and suggestions reach me at 09197850528 or pachiespoint@yahoo.com).