Couple’s sentence

SUPPLEMENTAL KNOWLEDGE
Jhunie B. Wahayna

Marriage is a life sentence, a trial without a judge or jury. That day, the courtroom was filled with witnesses, sponsors, and guests. Instead of the usual defendant versus the plaintiff with their respective lawyers, there were six couples together with their respective parents waiting for their sentence from the judge.

I was a witness to the six couples and one of them is my cousin. I used to watch my sisters, brothers, cousins, and friends walking down the aisle with their bunch of entourage while the music plays and the bell rings after the ceremony but this time it was a different experience. It made me reflect of the events that happened.

It was like watching a stage play blended with drama and comedy wherein after each scene the audience will clap their hands. Some scenes made the audience laugh, nod their heads to agree with what was said, and vocally expressed their comments.

The long wait has finally ended. The moment has come; the honorable judge entered the courtroom. She started calling names of the six couples. Everyone was smiling when the first name was called. The judge even asked the couple, “anong palayaw”? The name was unique. It was a native name and I’m sure he was bullied during his younger years because of his name. Someone commented “indigenous talaga”.

The couples were asked to go out of the courtroom if they want to back out but no one did. So they really have planned to get married. Finally they will be together for lifetime, expressing their love for each other and have children sooner or later.

They were prompted with the question from the judge: “bakit gusto ninyong magpakasal?” Here are their answers: magkakaanak na po kasi kami, gusto po naming dalawang magpakasal na, may mga anak na po kami, para maging legal ang aming pagsasama, mahal po naming ang isa’t isa.

After hearing their answers, I thought this (marriage) is one of the most important phases in life that requires a lot of thinking before one should plunge into it. This is a serious matter, a lifetime commitment. No rewind. No turning back. Is having a child enough reason to get married? Or you get married because you both like it? Is marriage a must? It is not even a solution to emotional, social or financial stability, right? Well, I can’t argue, object or oppose to whatever reasons they have though I am a witness in the courtroom.

The judge then proceeded with her sermon and pieces of advice. Finally he said to the couples, “I hope you realize that today I am giving you a life sentence.”

Now comes the ceremony. The couples were instructed to stand before the judge, held both hands, face their partners, and looked eye-to-eye to each other. We thought they will do it at a single session to save time but each of the couple was given the chance to do their act.

Some of them were ashamed to do what was instructed but the audience told them to do so. Some could not decide which hand to hold and which position will do.

It was also obvious that they could not look eye-to-eye for long. Some looked at the forehead, chin, chest, and some simply looked down. Wonder if they are still ashamed to their partners? I wanted very much to tell them this, “hey, this is your day, a once in a lifetime experience, no more retakes… make it memorable! It could have been more romantic and meaningful if they have looked eye to eye while clearly saying their pledges. Perhaps they were too shy to do a PDA (public display of affection)?

But one couple readily faces each other held both hands firmly, looked eye to eye, and clearly stated their pledges. Does it mean that they are ready to face their life as married couple?
And finally to seal their vows, the most awaited part - the kiss. Some did at the forehead and on the cheeks but were asked to do it on the lips. One couple covered their kiss with their hands! The courtroom was filled with more laughter.

The judge finally dismissed and presented the couples and as they happily went out of the courtroom, they were given rounds and rounds of applause.

Blessings will come but as they say marriage is not a bed of roses. There are heaps of trials and sacrifices along the way. Marriage is what and how you make it. It is a lifetime investment. It requires everything you have and everything you can give. There is no “mine” only “ours”. Most especially, there is no “I” only “we”.

Marriage is a vow. A solemn pledge or promise agreed upon by willing persons to commit their lives to the one they wanted to live till death. A commitment that claims not only their breath but also their whole being. It is not a ratio and proportion arrangement neither a fraction contract. It demands the whole giving of self to one’s partner.

The scripture says that, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Being joined together in the bond of marriage becoming one flesh is a lifetime sentence that a couple should talk about for a length of time so to produce a fruitful and rewarding relationship.

The doctrine of a church wedding has no marriage expiry or a renewable marriage contract that will be renewed for every period of ten years. Marriage is a no turning back position.