G-SPAT

The world needs single people
GRACE BANDOY

Ninety eight point five percent of my friends are married, 99% of my workmates are married and 100% of my crushes are married.

The only unmarried people on earth right now are the minors – those who are 11 years old and below (twelve-year-olds are considered adults now because they know more about sex and being liberated than my 40-year-old spinster aunt), widows and widowers, those who are separated/divorced and…the very, very, very few who choose to remain single for holy or unholy reasons.

And let me stress -- when I say ‘married’, it doesn’t necessarily mean ‘happily married’, because I feel that in reality, most of these married people regret they ever did it at all. Well, that’s just what I feel and conceive of them.

I tremendously sense that most of the married people I personally know are not happy at all, others are candid and admit how they wish they just stayed single (how else do you fucking explain the enormous rate of people getting divorces and annulments?!), while some of them deny it.

But of course there are a chosen few who are blissfully married and contented in the truest meaning of the word. In a global scale, I also think that more than 90% of the world’s population are already married, marrying or will marry and have their own families.

When God said “Go forth and multiply,” the world responded hastily, with gusto and never stopped since – they said ‘oh God, you bet we will go and multiply, and we can’t wait, we’re goin’ and multiplyin’ now! And we can do it forever if you wish!!’

I am so like not disrespecting the sanctity of marriage here and I am definitely not justifying my staying single forever because how else should I be writing this if it weren’t for my parents who married but it’s just that, today, people seem to be rushing into marriage like it’s the only thing to do on earth – (lahat ng tao wala ng ibang alam gawin kundi maghanap ng aasawain!) I mean what the hell?!

Just because that “Go forth and multiply” biblical phrase is the most well-esteemed and memorized commandment God has ever given, that all humanity should just literally go have sex and produce a gazillion kids?!

The world today is becoming overly populated with everybody hooking up and having kids. With that, is the inevitable rise of poverty, hunger, wars, environmental degradation, all forms of abuses against humans, crimes.

With the rise of the world’s population comes the inexorable end of humanity itself. Because it is slowly happening that mother earth can no longer supply the demands of the world’s increasing number of humans and their needs.

The end of the world is truly near if you come to think of it, the horrific effect on the environment being the most fundamental cause. We should be thankful there are people out there who are willing to sacrifice themselves to still make this world a better place to live in and dedicate their whole life to aid the underprivileged members of our societies.

Picture the world without the United Nations, the Red Crosses around the world, the Peace Corps volunteers, without the religious and non-religious groups out there who are helping the needy, the protectors of our environment and all the individuals and humanitarian associations who are helping those in need – victims of wars, the hungry, the homeless, the sick…?

Imagine if we’re all committed to support our own families and spend all our time making money and giving them the food, shelter and clothing they need?

Who will take care of the world’s growing number of kids infected with HIV? of Africa’s starving citizens? If we’re all bent on taking care of our own families and would not care about the harsh realities happening around us, this world would not be the same.

Oprah would not have been able to uplift the lives of thousands she assisted if she had five kids of her own, I swear. The world urgently needs single people and well, married people who care about the world and who would care more about the abysmal state of everyone around them.

Although there are married people out there who are doing their part in humanitarianism (most of whom are rich couples like. Bill Gates and wife, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Manny Villar and wife, and unless you can afford to help others other than your family, one can not completely commit himself to the nobility of this purpose.

So with the world’s desperate and pressing need for people who can fully consign themselves to saving our planet and the people living in it, it is quite inherent that one is single -- someone who is willing to sacrifice his or her whole lifetime to save the world and its inhabitants.

There are a billion things out there we can do with our lives other than searching for our soul mates and prince charmings, why don’t we go become heroes instead and make earth a safer place for those generations to come.

But what the hell, married or not married, let’s just all do our part in saving the planet and becoming humane. Earth Day should be everyday and charity to not only begin and end in our homes, but must swell and overflow into the homes of our neighbors near and far.