Random thoughts on Mothers’ Day

CULTURAL NOTES

Richard Kinnud

An anecdote in rural Philippines is about a foot path from a spring to the houses in a far-flung village.  A development worker assessed that it takes time for people, especially mothers and children to bring the water they fetched from the spring to their homes because of the difficulty passing through it. 
    The path was unpaved and there were no clear tiered-up footsteps on the ascents.  The development worker bannered “women empowerment” and “help to mothers and their children” as the rationale of a project proposal to a non-government organization. 
    The foreign NGO this development worker was working with recognized the need pointed out and so it provided the funds and implemented the concreting of the foot path to include tiered steps.  A year later, the head of the NGO came with the development worker to assess the result of their project. 
    They observed that the concreting of the foot path prolonged the time of fetching water as the mothers spend more time on the concrete path picking each other's and/or their daughter's head lice, or doing “chismis” or simply whiling away the time.  
    That non-government organization concluded that indeed life was easier for the women and their children with the footpath but another program must be instituted to fully empower them.
    Today we see “empowered mothers”, “empowered women” or so as they are described.  We see farmer mothers do the plowing and spading.  Women now also hold the chisel, hammer, and saw, implements that are often associated to men. 
    The woman is now a driver, an electrician, a pilot, an engineer, or a police, occupations and professions that are often correlated to men.  We see women corporate executives and government leaders. 
    Women’s Day, Women’s Month, and Mothers’ Day are on calendars.  Part of the advocacy on empowerment, these celebrate the woman, a recognition of who she is and her achievements.
    We have all these.  But apparently they are not an end. Women empowerment continues to be an advocacy.
    Women empowerment, let alone mothers’ day, and a related construct, gender equality are foreign concepts.  But evidences would suggest that these are in our native consciousness.  The "great flood" tale, which I believe is very common in the country, tells that humanity had continued to exist because of a father and a mother.  In one Ifugao version, Bugan and Wigan are kins who at the height of the great flood were able to save themselves by climbing separate mountains.  They would soon meet in the valley and in the natural course of things, they had been the ancestors of a people.   The tale is saying that humanity has not subsisted if one of genders perished.
    In the Ifugao system of honga (a feast honoring parents while they are still alive) and dangli (the pigs or carabaos butchered during the wake of a deceased), what is afforded to a father should also be afforded to a mother.  Thus, if a carabao is butchered during the honga of the father, the same should be done during the honga of the mother. 
    I do believe that there are similar practices with other ethno-liguistic groups of the country.  Again, it is all because of the equal regard to mother and father.  And perhaps, it is what had been preached since "the great flood."
    The indigenousness of the noble ends of foreign concepts such as Mother's Day must be the reason why these are easily adopted in the local culture.  The setback is when the nobility is lost in the crowd of other things. 
    For instance, too much commercialism might swing away the real essence of the celebration say when mother and children will focus more on the cost at the restaurant menu or department store items such that the purpose of the celebration is forgotten. 
    Also, sometimes along the course of empowerment advocacy, battle of the genders happens.  The debate sometimes becomes which is the more important gender – the man or the woman.  It is often forgotten that just like the characters of "the great flood" tale, man and woman had the ability to survive, and have roles to the progress of human existence.  
    It is a relief to note that there is the better term "gender advocacy" in order to emphasize that the end of it all is to let everyone put to mind that each member of humanity, regardless of being man or woman, has his/her capacity to enhance, amplify, and bring to fulfillment shared aspirations.  
    Particularly about mother’s day, losing the essence of the celebration would be like how the villagers missed the point of funded foot path made for them which is to empower them to do more beneficial things from saving time in fetching water other than just sit to pick lice or do chismis; and on the other hand, how the development worker missed to incorporate simultaneously in the proposal a program that would complement their foot path project.  It is always a learning process of course, and life continues.
    This corner wishes readers and all mothers out there a meaningful Mother's Day celebration!  My special shout out goes to my wife Lorna, my sister Peda, and my sister-in-laws who are all mothers; to my mother and my mother-in-law; and all my aunties, grandmothers, and cousins out there!  Happy Mothers’ Day!