BEHIND THE SCENES

Baguio traffic,SM woes
ALFRED P. DIZON

If the honorables at city hall would merit, I believe there is need to restudy the rerouting scheme of Baguio and implement a better one. With high oil prices, traveling around the city has become more expensive -- one could be likened to Asiong Aksaya, that 70s comics character who does everything in excess.

One time, I went to SM to have my treatment at the Benguet Laboratories for a dislocated shoulder. Since the plate number of my reliable horse or rather pickup truck ended with a 7, I had to pass through Trancoville from La Trinidad, Benguet so I wouldn’t be flagged down by a cop for violating the number coding scheme. During normal days, I pass though Magsaysay Road but then again, the traffic from the Slaughter House to Centermall is so heavy one could turn off the engine for a quick doze and wake up to see the vehicles haven’t moved yet.
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Of course, those precious diesel liters oozed by as I traversed the road passing through Lower Brookside, to Teachers Camp in Pacdal, then Happy Glen Loop up to the Baguio Cathedral where I had to shell out P20 for parking fee. (Yes, even the Roman Catholic authorities know how to do business. They recently demanded exorbitant rent money from their hapless tenants at their Porta Vaga Building along Session making the latter stage a strike but that is another story.)

Anyhow, by 6 p.m., my treatment session was done so I decided to walk to the Cathedral. But woe to me, Kabunian suddenly decided to unleash heavy downpour and I could see sadistic taxi drivers enjoying the sight of many stranded customers while they picked first the beautiful ladies for a ride.
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I was in a hurry, compelling me to buy an umbrella so I could catch up with my Thursday singing gig at Le Fondue along Session Road, and also considering that I had to get the vehicle out from the Cathedral grounds or the gates will close. If not for the number coding scheme and rerouting, I need not have bought an umbrella.

Whew! Nowadays, if one wants to go down from SM to Session Road, one has to pass through Gov. pack Road, then near the regional Bureau of Internal Revenue office, then up to the Post Office Loop. The not so recent years, one could go down from SM to Session Road in two minutes. During daytime, traffic is usually heavy at the Dept. of Interior and Local Government intersection along Gov. Pack. One time, it took me around 45 minutes to travel from Session Road to the DPS compound by passing through the area.
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In another incident, I parked again the pickup truck at the road adjacent to the main gate of SM so I could buy some items. Out of nowhere, a security guard suddenly appeared faster than lightning and told me I couldn’t park beside the road even for a while.

I told the guard there was no billboard with a No Parking sign along the road so maybe I could park considering the thoroughfare was a public road. He told me the road was owned by SM. Since I didn’t want to engage in a shouting spree with the nincompoop, I called up the police traffic department and the guy at the other end of the line told me the road was indeed a public road and was not owned by SM. I thrust my cell phone to the guard so he will personally hear from the police officer what road ownership was all about. But he would have none of that saying he was barred from doing that.
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He told me again to park elsewhere like at the SM basement where I am charged P25 every time I go to the area to make Henry Sy richer. I told him if I will go to the basement, I will have to pass through Gov. Pack Road again, near the BIR office, up the Post Office Loop and to the basement where the guard has grown tired of looking for a bomb inside the vehicle, maybe noting I was an SM regular. Loss of time and gasoline I told him. But he would have none of that. He said I had to leave.

Of course, like I do every time a nincompoop would try to engage me to a fight or a shouting match, I summoned my reserves of patience and politely calmly told him I would leave the vehicle in the area since I had to buy something.

He told me again the road was not the property of the city government as evidenced by the flagpole planted beside it with the Philippine Flag proudly fluttering and proclaiming its sovereignty in the slight downpour – so would I just leave?
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He was now caressing his gun tucked to his waist to intimidate me or maybe to assure himself he still had his balls intact. He said, it was the order of management not to let anybody park along the road. But I had enough of it, so I told him I would leave the vehicle right there and then. He summoned another security guard who told me I had to move the vehicle elsewhere. I told them they could guard the vehicle while I would see the grandeur that was SM. Besides, wouldn’t your bosses appreciate the fact that you are helping in making them rich? I told them. They looked at me with stares which could have made even a hardened criminal wilt.
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“Sige bantayan yo lang wen? (Ok, just guard the car, okay?)” I told them, locked the door and proceeded to tell a Caucasian man in his 60s who had just parked behind me not to get intimidated by the guards since he parked on a public road. He nodded saying, he was also in a hurry. I left, went inside the mall and later returned to the truck, knowing how caring SM was for having such kind guards watch over the vehicle. But they were not there when I returned. I could have given them a tip. I was thinking of getting a television crew to discreetly film the event by doing another encore of what happened and become an instant star, but then, maybe next time.

Who knows, I could be discovered by a Viva Films talent scout. But then again, I wouldn’t want a lot of controversies hounding me like on my love life. Stress is not good for the health. Besides I’m not running for public office in 2010. If ever I would run, it would be at the Benguet State University grounds where the wind is fresh early morning.