‘The Filipino is worth dining for’

PERRYSCOPE
Perry Diaz

Gloria’s spin doctors said that Congressman Martin Romualdez paid for the $20,000 -- one million pesos! -- food bill at the posh Le Cirque restaurant in New York. For Martin -- Imelda Marcos’s nephew -- that’s just loose change from his pork barrel. Oink!

It turned out that the Le Cirque dinner was a dual celebration -- Gloria and Mike’s 41st wedding anniversary and Gloria’s appointment as her boss Obama’s errand girl in Southeast Asia. Go Gloria go! Gloria’s legal counsel challenged the “dinner” critics to file court case. Don’t worry they will… after June 2010 when Gloria steps down from office. That’s when all hell will break loose!

News Item: “ House to scrutinize budget for Palace jet.” Gloria’s allies in Congress are fuming mad cuz she brought only 30 of her allies with her on her US junket. So now Gloria’s going to buy a private presidential jet big enough to accommodate all of them when she goes junketing. Happy days are here again, gang!

After overspending P1.6 billion on her foreign travels since 2003, Gloria believes that it’s cost effective to buy a presidential jet because it would pay for itself when she travels in the next six years. Does that mean she’ll still be prez after June 2010? Hmmm..

Understatement of the Year: “I never profited from my office,” Gloria swore. Well, what she didn’t realize was that her hubby Mike may have taken all the profits. No wonder Mike could afford a $20,000 a night suite in Las Vegas. C’est la vie!

“Gloria Arroyo’s favorite congressmen get the most pork barrel. But it’s no guarantee of their districts’ progress. Bulk of the pork funds only end up in the politicians’ pockets,” writes a Manila columnist. Well, rumor has it that Congressman Martin Romualdez is one of Gloria’s favorites. Yep, his P1.7-billion pork barrel proved that.

It’s no wonder then that Martin picked up the $20,000 tab at Le Cirque. Heck, that’s just a drop in the bucket and besides it’s not his money, it’s the people’s money. So, when Gloria offered a toast at Le Cirque, she said, “Let’s drink to the Filipino people who are worth dining for.” Cheers!
Veep Noli De Castro seems like he doesn’t need Gloria anymore. Pulse Asia’s latest finding is: “If presidential elections were held at this time, administration ally Noli de Castro will win, hands down.” Oh, yeah? Wait till Gloria uses “dagdag-bawas” in the new automated election system.

Former prez Erap Estrada’s rating in the latest SWS survey showed him jumping to second place behind Manny Villar, from 13% to 25%. Erap achieved that without doing anything. Well, that’s what he did too when he was prez -- nothing. By the way, Erap and Loi will celebrate their golden wedding anniversary on Dec. 6. My investigative reporter, James Macaquecquec, reported that several more are being planned for his other wives -- numbers 2, 3, 4, 5...

Poor Gibo Teodoro… Some of his new party mates in PALAKA -- also known as Lakas-Kampi- CMD -- are questioning his affiliation with NPC. They want him to “prove in writing that he had resigned from the NPC.” That’s going to be tough cuz he was heard to have told Danding Cojuangco when he left NPC, “See you later, uncle.” Well, it looks like it’s going to be sooner than later.

Gloria’s political operative Gabriel Claudio boastfully announced, “Having 70 percent of the more than 11,000 elected officials in the country in its fold, the Lakas-Kampi- CMD is confident of victory in the 2010 national and local elections.” Oh yeah! After the opposition wins in 2010, there will be 11,000 balimbings who would defect from PALAKA and join the winner. It happens all the time, pal.

Gloria denied former Ambassador Albert del Rosario’s claim that she had considered suspending the writ of habeas corpus in 2005 and tried to seek US approval for such a move. That just proved that Gloria thinks that the Philippines is the 51st state of the US. Perhaps the Philippine Congress should change Philippine Independence Day back to July 4, 1946. It’s all Cong Dadong’s fault -- Gloria’s dad -- who changed it to June 12, 1898. No wonder Pinoys are screwed up.

Talking of screw-ups… After Sarah Palin quit as Alaska guv, Paula Abdul quit as judge of American Idol, and then Mel Martinez quit as Florida senator. And finally, Bill Bratton quit as Los Angeles Chief of Police! With an ex-senator, ex-policeman, and ex-judge joining a hockey mom, that’s a good mix to start Quitters Anonymous.

The Alaska Legislature overrode ex-guv Sarah’s veto of $28 million in federal stimulus funds. Sarah said that accepting the stimulus money would “chip away at Alaska’s right to chart its own course.” Well, many Alaskans believe that with Sarah gone, they can truly chart their state’s course. Bye, bye, Sarah…

James Macaquecquec reported that he heard from the grapevine that Sgt. James Crowley, the cop who arrested a disabled and elderly black professor for “breaking” in to his own house, is going to quit soon to write a book titled, “How to Arrest a Black Man and Get Invited to the White House for Beer.”
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