Napoleonito and Napoleonette

PERRYSCOPE
Perry Diaz

Veep Jejomar “V-Nay” Binay and Exprezcong Gloria Macapagal Arroyo (“Exprezcong” is short for Ex-President and Congresswoman) have a lot of things in common. Gloria was once the vice president of former president Joseph “Erap” Estrada and V-Nay is now the current vice president of P-Noy.

They’re of the same height. V-Nay is 5’2” (without elevator shoes) and Gloria is 5’2” (with 3-inch high-heel shoes).

They both have illusions -- or delusions? -- of grandeur: V-Nay as Emperor Napoleonito of Makati and Gloria as Empress Napoleonette of the Enchanted Kingdom of Juetengland.

Napoleonito will reside in the Coconut Palace by the Manila Bay while Napoleonette will reside in the Jueteng Vatican Palace in Lubao, Pampanga. Or is it her “Elba” where she’d plan her return to power?

Gloria became president by ousting Erap. Well, it’s too soon to tell if V-Nay wants to become P-Nay before his term ends.
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Here is an interesting blog posted in www.GlobalBalita. com by Bert Celera:
If V-Nay is complaining about almost everything as a VP, Erap is complaining too.
Erap said that V-Nay and him almost have all something in common:
Erap was Mayor of San Juan, V-Nay in Makati;

Erap’s wife is a doctora, V-Nay’s a doctora too; Erap’s son became Mayor of San Juan, V-Nay’s too – in Makati; Erap became Vice President, V-Nay too! Erap’s complaint – V-Nay should be jailed too!!!
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V-Nay finally found his niche in the P-Noy administration as the head of the Housing and Urban Development Coordinating Council. The job gives him the title of “Housing Czar,” however, some people might refer to him as P-Noy’s “house boy.” Whoa! That’s quite a bit of a freefall for V-Nay -- from Emperor of Makati to Housing Czar to P-Noy’s house boy! What’s next?
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Within a matte r of days, the party-going bachelor P-Noy ran into two people on two separate occasions who shouldn’t be placed in the same room as P-Noy. The first was Gloria’s former agriculture secretary Luis “Cito” Lorenzo who fled to the U.S. to avoid testifying on the fertilizer scam before the Senate. Recently, he returned from self-exile saying that he’s ready to “spill the beans.” Whose beans? P-Noy and Cito were guests to the birthday party of Boy Montelibano. They briefly greeted each other and shook hands. That’s it. They were probably shocked to see each other.

The second was at the posh birthday party of V-Nay’s son Jun-jun, the new mayor of Makati. P-Noy arrived late and took a seat in a table. Lo and behold, the Imeldific Imelda Marcos came from behind and greeted P-Noy. P-Noy stood up gentlemanly and they both kissed each other on the cheek. As far as Imelda was concerned, it was just beso-beso. “Beso” is Spanish for “kiss,” as in “beso de la muerte”(kiss of death). Well, I hope that Imelda didn’t have Gloria’s type of that deadly kiss.

Makes one wonder if the next person P-Noy would ran into in a party would be Exprezcong Gloria herself. I would advice P-Noy not to get near Gloria lest she’ll smack him with her “beso de la muerte.” P-Noy should ask Manny Villar of Villarroyo fame and his own cousin Gibo Teodoro what Gloria’s “beso de la muerte” did to both of them.

Is this P-Noy’s way of reconciling with his enemies? Well, I hope not cuz from what I heard, P-Noy wants to meet with Ombudsman Merceditas “Merci” Gutierrez to talk about her job.

I would advice P-Noy to keep a safe distance from Merci cuz she’s known to be merciless to her enemies. She’s like a spitting cobra who would shoot it’s venom straight into its victims’ eyes.
At the rate P-Noy is reconciling with his enemies and adversaries, there would no longer be a need for a Truth Commission. Heck, that would save a lot of taxpayers’ money from being wasted on a moro-moro called “Davide vs. Gloriath.”
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In the news… P-Noy scolded the Philippine Atmospheric Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA) for failing to predict that Typhoon Basyang would lash Metro Manila. Hmmm… But isn’t PAGASA supposed to be prepared at all times especially during the monsoon season? Perhaps PAGASA personnel should get some training from the Boy Scouts on how to “Be Prepared” at all times.

But it takes money to prepare for disasters. According to the Department of Budget and Management, 70.4% or P1.4 billion of the calamity fund was spent by Gloria in her last six months in office. On what??? There are no typhoons during the dry season. From what I gathered, Gloria transferred the calamity fund to her travel budget. Yup, that’s a lot of moolah spent on her junkets while poor Pinoys were eating pagpag. Kawawa naman ang Pinas!

But it must have made Gloria happy -- now that she is a congresswoman -- when P-Noy decided to keep the pork barrel allocations. Needless to say, P-Noy has some discretionary power on how the pork is allocated. That’s the reason why 79 of Gloria’s Lakas-Kampi party mates decided to abandon her and join the administration coalition. They figured that Gloria’s party is over and it’s time to go to where the real party is -- in the House of P-Noy. The remaining 30 Lakas-Kampi members are Gloria’s diehard supporters. But unless Gloria could cough up some money to grease them, they’d abandon her in a blink and crash P-Noy’s party. Like they say, “What goes around comes around.” Yup, it’s called karmic power.

Neophyte congressman Dr. Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao turned out to be smarter than all the trapos in the House of Representathieves. As soon as P-Noy won the May 10 elections, Pacman immediately paid P-Noy a courtesy call. And before he was sworn into office, he abandoned Villar’s Nacionalista Party and joined P-Noy’s Liberal Party. His reason was that it would help him serve his constituents better. Yup, this guy is a pro. He knows whom to kiss up to -- the guy with the pork.

Talking about pork… P-Noy signed Memorandum Order No. 1 authorizing the Presidential Management Staff (PMS) to handle the President’s Social Fund (PSF), also known as the president’s “pork barrel.” During Gloria’s time, the PSF was under the direct control of the Office of the President since March 2002 when she signed a memorandum order transferring the PSF to her office. At that time, the PSF was P1.09 billion. Makes one wonder how much pork Gloria has spent -- or stashed away -- during her nine years in office.

It’s interesting to note that the PSF is sourced from the Philippine Amusement and Gaming Corporation (Pagcor) earnings. As the government’s third biggest revenue generator, Pagcor is a humongous “milking cow” of the robbing hoods of La Cuarta Nostra.(PerryDiaz@gmail. com)