Wang-wang and Wang-bu

PERRYSCOPE
Perry Diaz

President Benigno “P-Noy” Aquino III’s war on wang-wang (sirens) is making a lot of people happy except for a few who are so addicted to wang-wang that without wang-wang they’re going wang-bu (slang for “buwang” in Visayan which means “crazy“). One of them is vice president Jejomar “V-Nay” Binay, who wants his family to be exempted from the wang-wang ban. He said that his wife, children, and grandchildren use wang-wang in the streets of Makati and even outside Makati.

According to a Manila columnist, “the siren is allegedly a symbol of power and self-importance for the Binays.” Now, imagine if P-Noy would tell V-Nay, “Sorry, pare, but there are no exceptions to the ban.” That would certainly drive the entire Binay clan to go wang-bu!

It was also reported in the news that V-Nay complained about his new office, which is actually an old office used by former vice president Noli de Castro for six years. V-Nay said that his chair was too big, his office too small, too hot and too bare, and his budget was too small -- lesser than one barangay in Makati. But considering that he’s too short -- 5’2” without the elevator shoes -- for the big chair, it seems that V-Nay’s ego is too big for his size. Yup, V-Nay is a man with too many “too’s” -- too few of this, too little of that, and too much hot air.

V-Nay finally had the courage to ask P-Noy for a bigger office that would be fitting for a vice president. Well, to make the story short (no pun intended), P-Noy offered V-Nay the Coconut Palace for his office as well as official residence. Hmmm.. Doesn’t coconut sound like cuckoo nut? What does P-Noy think of V-Nay, a wang-bu? Well, V-Nay doesn’t have too much of a choice -- either he accepts the Coconut Palace or he’ll have to settle for Noli’s old office with too few of this, too little of that, and too much hot air. The Coconut Palace would really be fitting for the “Emperor of Makati” -- a palace of his own by theManila Bay where one can fly over the cuckoo’s nest.
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Twenty one of exprez Gloria Macapagal Arroyo’s political ambassadors refused to go home after their paid “holiday” co-terminated with Gloria. Yup, the law is clear, political ambassadors are co-terminus with the appointing authority -- the president. But Secretary of Foreign Affairs Alberto Romulo-- whose life support was given a new lease by P-Noy -- extended their “holiday” for another three months! What’s going on? Have they gone TNT; that is, tago ng tago?

The septuagenarian Romulo, with his jet-black hair -- or was it a hairpiece? -- looked brand new when he took his oath before P-Noy. Well, it’s the dawn of a new era, so he might as well look new as well. Happy New Life, Señor Romulo!
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P-Noy recently appointed retiring Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) Vice Chief of Staff Lt. Gen. Nestor Ochoa as ambassador to an Asian country. Some people say it’s going to be Cambodia. Well, that’s like being sent to exile in the land of a million monks. Sources said that Defense Secretary Voltaire Gazmin was behind the appointment of Ochoa. One wonders if Ochoa was being punished or rewarded. However, it seems that the “revolving door” policy started by Gloria is still in place in the Aquino government.

Well, that’s one way of insuring the loyalty of the generals. Gloria knows that too well. This reminds me of former AFP Chief of Staff Alexander Yano who was appointed by Gloria as ambassador to Brunei after he retired early in 2008 to make way for Gen. Victor Ibrado who was then replaced by Lt. Gen. Delfin Bangit as Army Commander, a stepping stone to the AFP top post. The word then was that Gloria coaxed Yano into early retirement to make way for others -- including Bangit --to move up the ladder.

Indeed, it was an offer Yano couldn’t refuse. Brunei is a small sultanate in the jungles of Borneo. It’s like a hell hole -- very hot and extremely humid. But it’s one of the richest countries in the world. It’s citizens don’t pay taxes and if they didn’t want to work (most of the work are done by Pinoy contract workers), the Sultan would house and feed them plus give them hefty stipends for booze. Now, that’s one way of keeping the people happy and stop the Islamic jidahists from taking over. The Brunei ambassadorship is considered one of the plum posts. Being invited to all the ritzy and glitzy events of the Sultan makes the Brunei post an ambassador’s dream.

It is interesting to note that all of Gloria’s AFP Chiefs of Staff were given plum posts after retirement with the exception of Gen. Delfin Bangit. Instead, after P-Noy pushed him into early retirement, Bangit joined the “shadow government” of former Defense Secretary Norberto Gonzales. Gonzales said that he’d be the leader of the “new opposition.” Has he gone wang-bu? He has formed a “shadow Cabinet” for his “government in waiting.”

I wonder what these shadowy characters do while they’re waiting for something to happen. Play pusoy all day? Perhaps they can volunteer as Congressman Dr. Manny Pacquiao’s boxing sparring partners. Then they would know what would happen to them if their “shadow government” went kaput!

Does Bangit know what he is getting into? I hope he realizes that whatever position he’d occupy in the “shadow government,” there is no pay. All he’s getting is a “promise” that he’ll play a key role in the event the “shadow government” takes over. Oh, well, another of those conspiracy theories that Gonzales is well-known for. Remember Operation August Moon and Project Full Moon? If he fails, he will be singing “Fly me to the Moon” for the rest of his life. And if I were Bangit, I’d make my time more productive planting camote. At least camote is healthy food.
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Exprez Gloria -- or should I say “exprezcong” since she’s now a congresswoman -- filed a resolution calling for Charter change (Cha-cha) through constitutional convention. With only 30 diehardGloristas in the House of Representatives, it looks like what she’s doing is “suntok sa buwan”(punching at the moon) or just plain wang-bu.
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Sen. Miriam Santiago, one of two admirers of Gloria in the Senate, likened Gloria’s resolution to dropping a “10-billion kilowatt (burst) equivalent to 1,000 Hiroshima bombs.” She said it made a big splash but it’s going to be a “dud.” I think Gloria did it just to get attention. That’s what people with KSP syndrome do. KSP stands for kulang sa pansin (attention deficiency).

It’s not really that bad for Gloria cuz soon-to-be Speaker Sonny Belmonte made her the “minority leader” of the House of Representatives. Yup, from being the majority party a few weeks ago, Gloria’s Lakas-Kampi- CMD has been reduced to 30 pork-hungry congressmen. But with the pork barrel allocations now controlled by P-Noy and Belmonte, Gloria’s party might soon become a minority party of one. That’s poetic justice.
(PerryDiaz@gmail. com)