Fat cats and kleptocrats

PERRYSCOPE
Perry Diaz

Barely a month after Gloria Macapagal Arroyo ended her tumultuous and scandalous presidency, fat cats and kleptocrats are crawling out of the woodwork like a can of worms. Yup, one by one they’re being exposed for graft and corruption.

What do fat cats and kleptocrats have in common? Answer: They’re all thieves. What’s their difference? Answer: Fat cats steal and tell everybody it’s salary, allowance, and bonuses while kleptocrats steal and then secretly stash their loot in Swiss banks.

Recently, the Commission on Audit released a list of top executives -- or fat cats -- receiving huge salaries and allowances in 2009. They are:

1. Armand Arreza, administrator of the Subic Bay Metropolitan Authority (SBMA), with P26.9 million.
2. Benigno Ricafort, chief executive officer of Clark Development Corp., with P14.5 million.
3. Edgardo F. Garcia, deputy executive officer of the Development Bank of the Philippines (DBP), with P12.7 million.
4. Amando Tetangco Jr., governor of Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, with P10.8 million.
5. Benedicto Ernesto Bitonio Jr., executive vice president of DBP, with P9.3 million.

And how about the kleptocrats? Well, we can only cite allegations made against them because the “truth” has yet to come out. That’s why President Noynoy Aquino created the Truth Commission to dig out the truth about Gloria and other suspected kleptocrats in her administration.

But from what I understand, the Truth Commission headed by Gloria’s pal, former chief justice Hilario Davide Jr., hehehe…, has to dig deep into the Earth’s core to get the evidence to prove that Gloria and her cohorts stole from the government.

Davide has a big problem: He was accused recently by Sen. Jinggoy Estrada of graft and corruption. Holy shit! The question is: Is the Truth Commission going to investigate Davide too? Well folks, it seems that moro-moro is still being played today.

Noynoy must be fuming mad when he saw the list of fat cats receiving millions in pay and perks. As president of 90 million Pinoys whom he calls his “bosses,” Noynoy only gets P95,000 a month in salary! And these fat cats get millions every month just sitting on their fat buns? They ought to be skinned alive and thrown into the Pasig River behind Malacañang !

Poor Noynoy, he had to use his first paycheck to pay his utility bills otherwise those Meralco fat cats would disconnect his utilities. Perhaps, he should tell the people that he is their “boss,” not them, and should get a pay raise.
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Gloria Arroyo, George Bush and Hu Jintao all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Hu Jintao asks to call China and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Hu writes him a check.

Next George Bush calls the USA and talks for 30 minutes.

When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is 6 million dollars, so he writes him a check.

Finally Gloria Arroyo gets her turn and talks for 4 hours. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is $5.00.

When Bush hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why GMA got to call the Philippines so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies: “Since Gloria took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.” (Source: Internet)
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Exprezcong (that is, ex-president and congresswoman) Gloria Macapagal Arroyo must be a glutton for punishment. She abandoned her plan to seek the Speakership of the House of Representatives when she realized that she didn’t have the votes. So instead of sitting on the Speaker’s dais, she settled for a small desk and a rickety swivel chair among the 280 members of the Lower House. Isn’t that demeaning for a former president who once occupied Malacañang Palace for nine and a half years?

If I were Gloria, I’d quit and go into self-exile in Portugal before the Truth Commission brings her to justice. Why Portugal? Well, Portugal and the Philippines have no extradition treaty. But Portugal and the United States have an extradition treaty and a Fil-Am anti-corruption group is blowing the whistle on Gloria and hubby Mike for allegedly violating international law against money laundering.

Remember former Panamanian president Manuel Noriega? Well, after serving 17 years in a U.S. prison for drug trafficking and money laundering, he was extradited to France where he is facing charges of money laundering. Is the alleged “lavandera” going to face the music too?
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Life in the House of Representatives could be excruciating. What Gloria didn’t realize is there are several congressmen with an axe to grind who would use their privilege speech to humiliate and attack her. So far, three party-list representatives have use their privilege speech to deliver scathing attacks against her on the floor of the House.

One of them was Rep. Kaka Bag-ao. The following is an excerpt from her privilege speech: “I also heard from the debates that one may criticize a colleague but must refrain from using offensive language. Does this mean that I may not describe a colleague the exact way that my constituents describe him or her? For instance, if the general public perceives the administration of a former president as a rule of thieves or pigs or crocodiles, can I not articulate that popular opinion in this august chamber only because that former president is currently a member of the House? Can I not say that her performance is scandalous because the word scandalous is derogatory?

“How do we know when a word is unparliamentary and unethical and when it is not? What defines the boundaries of what is courteous and respectful and what is not? Can I say for instance ‘With due respect Mr. Speaker, her administration is a regime of pigs?’ ” Ugh! That hurts. Indeed, vengeance hurts the most.

I wonder if Gloria is “kapalmuks” -- thick-skinned -- to take all the insults from her peers in the House. Well, it’s not too late to abandon whatever ambitions she has now that she’s relegated to minority leader of 30 Lakas-Kampi diehard congressmen. But at the rate her allies are abandoning her, Gloria might end up with just the three Arroyo boys: sons Mikey and Dato and brother-in-law Iggy. The last time we saw a trio like them, they’re known as the “Three Stooges.”
(PerryDiaz@gmail.com)