Honor thy child on Fathers’ Day

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Roger D. Sinot

Marriage, according to a Christian book, is not the pleasure of marital sex, for the end of nature is not pleasure. But pleasure is an incentive for spouses to embark on the most difficult task of building a home for the child. The true, the great, the only right of a child is to have a real family and as always, divine and human laws are united in making it a holy right. The child is a product of laws who must be reared with tender hands of love.  

           

Here is a story of a confused child as related by Santiago Dumlao Jr. Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Johnny (not the senator). When he was six years old, he and daddy were caught by a motorcycle cop for over speeding. The daddy handed over his driver license to the cop with a crisp 50-peso bill. “Ok lang son,” daddy said, “everybody does it,” and away they drove.

            When Johnny was eight, he was with his mother who was driving in a hurry to the supermarket. And since she could not find any parking space, she parked the car in a No Parking area. A traffic aide approached but the mother was quick in giving the traffic aide a 100-peso bill as promised. “I’ll not take long.” And as the boy looked at his mother questioningly, she said, "Ok lang son, everybody does it.”

            When the boy was 10 years old, a balikbayan favorite aunt came to visit. She brought expensive electronic products as generous pasalubong – a radio-CD player for him, TV and DVD player for daddy, and a microwave over for mother. “You wrote me you wanted all these, the aunt told his mother who said, “These are just too expensive. How did you get these through customs?” The aunt said, “Insan, madalilangyan. Kaunting lambing, sabay ngiti, sabay lagay, ayos na!”

            When Johnny was 12, he was at the dinner table when his favorite uncle from Honolulu was presiding over some business discussion on unpaid real estate taxes over land still jointly owned by relatives. “Alam mo,” he explained with confidence, “mga tao lamang naman ang mga government collectors mga iyan. Pagbigyan mo sila at pagbibigyan karin.” Johnny who was in Grade Six understood a bit but not everything. But before he could inquire, his daddy said, “Ok lang son, everybody does it.”

            The little boy grew to be 18 when his daddy wanted him to enter college in his own Alma Mater. Johnny was a poor performer in high school, and his grades would not qualify him for college. But daddy was a close friend in college of the Dean of Admissions. Daddy talked privately to the Dean, and Johnny was somehow admitted to college. He was very surprised, but his daddy tapped him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Ok lang son, everybody does it.”  

            Before the final exams on his freshman year in college, Johnny was approached by an upperclassman who was the nephew of his professor. The upperclassman offered Johnny the test answers for P500. “Ok lang man,” the upperclassman said. “Everybody does it.”

            During the test, Johnny was caught cheating, was kicked out of school and sent home in disgrace. Johnny’s father was furious and embarrassed. “How could you do this to your mother and me?” The father said in agony. “You never learned anything like this at home.” And his mother asked, “Anak, why? Where did we go wrong?”

            Dropping by the supermarket to buy groceries, a young boy knocked at car window, apparently begging for money. It came to my mind that if I handed him some coins, he might one day grow up to be dependent on begging or become a professional beggar. What is worse is that juvenile beggars of today might turn out to be the best “bad” politicians tomorrow.

            As prodigal parents, we radically altered the truth. Above all, we have little time left to correct our failures. The bitter tragedy is, these victims are our children and grandchildren. They are flesh of our flesh and bone of our bones.

            As a father of two, I admit that life is not rose-tinted or a walk in the park because the reality is that I am compelled to make rules as a father. Bend the tree while young. To all fathers out there – “Be the heroes we never were, or else perish. Happy trails to all fathers.