‘Phone talk’ between Obama and Digong

BEHIND THE SCENES

Alfred P. Dizon

Prior to their meeting in Laos in the next few days, here is an excerpt from a “telephone conversation” between US President Barack Obama and this Banana Republic’s Rodrigo “Digong” Duterte:

Obama: Mr. President, you’ve taken the whole country (Philippines) by storm. How are your countrymen reacting to your anti-drug program?

Duterte: You are discreet (considering the number of druggies killed) but I will tell you frankly, I will not stop until I will get the head of the snake. You see some snakes project themselves as squeaky clean when they slither and purr as they sleep with their lovers. It is immoral much more if you are a government official or a public servant as we like to call ourselves here. 

        I cannot be immoral, that is why I am talking in public even about the personal affairs of public officials – yes because they are public officials and should set a good example. In my case, I have immunity from suit since I’m President.

As a lawyer, I cannot countenance that a lot of people are getting off the hook due to technical legalities. Such have no place in our all-out war against illegal drugs, so even judges have to be named in my exposes.

We don’t want to go the way of Mexico or Columbia. You see, we don’t like people getting killed on the streets. We want to make people feel they are safe. You walk the streets of Manila nowadays and you would see what I mean. Manila is very safe now.

But if somebody is killed every now and then not only in Manila but elsewhere in the country, it is because of legitimate police operations and some by people we still don’t know. I created a task force to look into this.

You see, criminals should not live to make the streets dangerous for ordinary people. You know this as even in the US, people are getting killed by the police. In your country, some people are holding rallies and protest actions due to this. Not in my country. People like what I am doing that is why they are silent. Have you heard of protest actions against me on these killings during my term? Nada.

        If the war here in the Philippines against drugs is bloody, it is because society has to be cleaned of the dregs of the earth, and I think people like it that way. They are tired of the ways of the oligarchs who also should also be purged. So if some people’s brains and blood are splattered on the streets and nobody is complaining, it is because they like our anti-drug program.

That is the reason why we made a matrix of those who are involved in the illegal drug trade. Nobody should be spared from this – not even judges, policemen or other high officials in government.I want people to see that I mean business.

You should also have a matrix in the US considering the entry of drugs from other countries like Mexico to your country.

You still there Mr. President? (A grunt at the other end of the line)

That is why, I resent it when other countries meddle in our affairs like the United Nations. If I uttered invectives against the UN group which would like to come here to investigate the killings, it is because of my love for my country. These UN people don’t know the situation here.

I want citizens of my country to be safe. If they will come, they will just complicate matters.

In the case of China, it will be bloody. If I will have to die for my country, so be it. Patriotism is a must for every Filipino. If there would be more killings and blood, so be it. It must be the will of God.

Are you with us in this? Our countries agreed on the EDCA, remember?

Obama: Excuse me Mr. President but I have to attend to our Vietnamese counterpart on the other line. You see they have been silently arming themselves without fanfare and now that the Sleeping Dragon is awake, China is taking a long, hard look at their territorial problems. See you in Laos. Bye.

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U.S. President Barack Obama is expected to meet with Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte on Sept. 6, and plans to touch on human rights as well as security concerns, according to news reports.

"We absolutely expect that the president will raise concerns about some of the recent statements from the president of the Philippines," White House Deputy National Security Adviser Ben Rhodes was quoted as saying when asked whether inflammatory remarks by Duterte about women, journalists and others would be a topic of discussion.

         Rhodes said, however, that there were important security issues to cover as well, particularly tensions over navigation in the South China Sea. China has been incensed by a ruling against its claims in the South China Sea by an international court, a case initiated by Manila.

The expected meeting between Obama and Duterte would take place in Laos, where the two leaders will be attending a summit of leaders from Pacific Rim nations.

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Duterte said on Wednesday he was ready to discuss any issues with Obama when they meet in Laos next week, but added that the US president must listen to him first before bringing up the question of human rights.

Washington has expressed concern about a surge in drug-related killings since Duterte became president two months ago promising to wipe out narcotics in the Southeast Asian nation.

Asked if he would be willing to discuss human rights at his meeting with Obama on the sidelines of an East Asia summit on Sept. 6, Duterte told reporters: “Depends to what degree”.

“They must understand the problem first before we talk about human rights. I would insist, listen to me: this is what the problem is, then we can talk.”

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As to the above “telephone conversation” between Obama and Duterte, blame it on the fertile imagination of our perennially drunk, friendly, neighborhood philosopher.