Biblical principles of forgiveness

TRUTH FOR TODAY

Jun Malazo

One of the hardest things that we as Christians are commanded to obey is to forgive others.  There is no doubt that at some point in your life you have been offended by someone.  You may have been a victim of someone’s slander.  You may have been treated unfairly.  You may not have received the love and attention that you deserve from your parents.  You may have been forsaken by someone you care for deeply.  In reality, all of us have experienced disappointments and hurts in the past. 

God commands us to forgive.  The Apostle Paul said, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you”  (Ephesians 4:32).  Forgiving is something many struggle with and even Jesus’ disciples found it hard to practice.  Notice what the Bible says:

"Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.  And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith."  (Luke 17:3-5)

When the disciples were confronted with the truth of forgiving, especially those who repeatedly sin against them, they collectively recognized the difficulty of this.  Thus, they responded, “Lord, Increase our faith.”  The truth of the matter is that forgiveness is never easy to give.  Just like anything that God commands His children to do, it requires His grace and strength.

It would seem that choosing not to forgive is far better than choosing to forgive.  After all, in our thinking, the other person does not deserve our forgiveness.  I submit to you that choosing not to forgive will do far greater damage to our lives than we realize.

Our unwillingness to forgive keeps us as prisoners of the past.  Unforgiveness keeps our wounded heart fresh and it robs us of the joy that God has for us.  Unforgiveness ruins relationships as it divides and devours friendships.  Unforgiveness breeds bitterness and hatred in our hearts against those who have done us wrong. 

Most importantly, unforgiveness hinders our spiritual walk with God.  The Bible says, "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also"  (1 John 4:20-21).  One who cannot forgive does not fully understand a very central character of God.  The Psalmist said, "But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth”  (Psalms 86:15).  The prophet Jeremiah said,  “It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness"  (Lamentations 3:22-23).

It is this same God Who is full of mercy and compassion that commands us to forgive those that have offended us.  Jesus not only commanded us to forgive others, but He also demonstrated true forgiveness with his life (Acts 26:18).  There are a few principles about forgiveness that we must understand before we can properly forgive others.  First, in order to forgive, we must understand the true meaning of forgiveness.  Let us consider what forgiveness is NOT.

Forgiveness is not a justification or an approval of the other person’s wrongful actions against us.  Choosing to forgive is simply obeying a basic principle in the Bible and in no way justifies or approves the offense.  We must remember that God is the judge.  The Bibles says, “…Vengeance is mine; I will repay, sayeth the Lord” (Romans 12:19). 

Secondly, forgiveness is not giving in.  In reality, choosing to forgive is a step towards towards the process of healing and reconciliation.  Lastly, forgiveness is not pretending that nothing ever happened or that it is not important.  We must understand that God takes offenses seriously.  It is also important to note that forgiveness is a repetitive theme in the Bible.  The Psalmist says, "If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?  But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared"  (Psalms 130:3-4).  In addition, Jesus taught His disciples about how to handle offenses, and He commands them to forgive (Matthew 18:15-22).  The Apostle Paul teaches about forgiving and restoring an offending brother (Galatians 6:1).

Let us now consider what true forgiveness is.  First of all, forgiveness is choosing to move on.  It is freeing ourselves from its bondage.  It is choosing peace and joy.  Then secondly, forgiveness is refusing to replay past hurts in our minds.  The Bible says, "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends"  (Proverbs 17:9).  Dwelling in the past keeps us captive and keeps the wound fresh.  Satan would like nothing better than to keep the wound fresh because it makes us self-focused. 

Thirdly, forgiveness is choosing to live without anger and bitterness.  What makes unforgiveness so serious in the eyes of God is that it leads to these two things.  Anger and bitterness result in disunity in family and church.  They result in our being ineffective for the Lord’s service.  It also opens our lives for Satan to setup strongholds in our lives.  The Bible says, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil"  (Ephesians 4:26-27).  I’ve personally seen how Satan subtlely uses anger and bitterness to destroy a person’s life and relationships.  It eventually will destroy an entire church, and it starts with the unwillingness to forgive.

Fourthly, forgiveness is letting God be the judge (Romans 12:19-21).  The Lord is the righteous judge.  His judgement is pure and will stand forever.  Therefore, as we forgive, we are allowing God to be in control.  We are surrendering the offense to God to take care of.

One of the greatest reasons we are not ready to forgive others quickly is because of our sinful nature.  It is our natural tendency to respond to hurt by hurting back.  We like to give people what we think they deserve when they hurt us.  Remember that Jesus is the greatest example of forgiveness.  When He was wrongfully accused and treated with unimaginable cruelty He still said, “…Father, forgive them for they know not what they do…” (Luke 23:34).

Jesus had the ability to call down legions of angels to avenge the cruelty and mocking He received.  Instead, He gave them what they did not deserve—forgiveness.  Can you imagine what would become of us if every time we sinned God gives us what we deserved?  It is no wonder the Bible says, "Blessed is the man unto whom the LORD imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile" (Psalms 32:2).  Thank God for His everlasting mercy!

Lastly, forgiveness leads to healing.  The process of healing cannot begin unless it is preceded by genuine forgiveness.  Forgiveness is the balm that heals the wound and prevents it from infecting other areas.  It is the foundation for restoring relationships.  Jesus Christ came to earth to forgive sins so that we can be reconciled to Him (Acts 5:31). 

Corrie Ten Boon survived in what was known as Hitler’s worst Nazi concentration camp during World War 2.  The war brought much pain and horror into her life as her entire family all died in captivity.  While she barely survived the war herself, her faith in God never wavered.  After the war, she spent the remainder of her life traveling all over Europe sharing her faith In Christ and what God had taught her about forgiveness. 

In 1947, after speaking in a church in Munich about God’s forgiveness, she was approached by a man that looked very familiar to her.  Horror struck her as memories came flooding back.  The man was a former Nazi concentration camp guard that  subjected to Biblicher unimaginable cruelties.  The man had since excepted Christ as his only Saviour and stood there with his hand extended to her asking her for forgiveness.  The following is an excerpt from her book that describes her response:

“I stood there—I whose sins had again and again been forgiven—and could not forgive. It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do. For I had to do it. I knew that. It was as simple and as horrible as that. And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. And so, woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, and sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes. “I forgive you, brother,” I cried. “With all my heart!”  For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then.”

God wants to bring peace and joy into our lives, but unforgiveness robs us from that special privilege.  Ask God right now to help you forgive those that have hurt you so deeply.  Give that person to God, and allow Him to be there righteous judge in the matter.  Let the process of healing begin in your life.